Revenant
by Crystallia Silver
Summary: A focus on Castiel's thoughts about Anna and their life. Poem, chronologically set before the closure of episode "Heaven and Hell", 4x10. Castiel x Anna


Author's note: I was watching certain parts of season 4 in which Castiel or Anna appear and a feeling of nostalgia hit me... I remembered all the first impressions I got regarding the interaction of these characters and also about the whole show (I discovered Supernatural series a year ago, during the reruns and season 4 was my initial experience). "On the Head of a Pin" was the first episode I watched with them.

The following work reflects Castiel's point of view. There are also inserted reference themes from my previous, related story _To offer._ Chronologically set before the closure of episode "Heaven and Hell", 4x10.

The poem is dedicated to these two beautiful characters who smoothly managed to seize my admiration.

Revenant

I had hoped to talk to you again  
to resolve the rift  
to seek and create a new, friendly bridge  
While the sun was warming my face  
While I was so away from home  
our memories were there, to embrace me  
Now they feel so painful,  
gripping me tightly  
trapping my conscience  
into sharp, wistful emotions I never felt before...

My strength is solid  
My faith and good will, fiery  
How can I let you go?  
I cared, I still do  
You are important to my heart, to my existence  
I promised I would guard you  
Remind you of the route of light, the one you used to know so well.

I secretly whisper, " Don't be afraid",  
sometimes to myself  
sometimes to the air, when my thoughts gather to you  
Prayers have become my assuasive song;  
The comfort to my tears,  
my hopes to a scary dead end  
And each phrase is spoken for you  
intending to reach you when the tip of my wings, their softer outer side  
cannot touch you or pass by your tired shoulders smoothly  
just to let you know I am here...

You once said you don't need Him  
That you can live your life you dreamt, without Him  
You, an unruly heart of a rebellious, yet kind, child  
I understood, though I never agreed  
The others however, won't grant a second chance  
To them, your voice doesn't matter, it won't  
Sooner or later  
with possible injustice and mercilessness  
our kind will try to put an end  
to your story and to my efforts so far.

With borrowed strength from Heaven  
With a pulsating soul and an ardent resolution  
I wrestle with the shadows drawing near  
Then I need to say this, but you probably won't believe;  
Anna, I have watched over you for years  
saw you growing in your second home  
like a wild flower in a dense forest  
You outdid my expectations  
I have been proud, happy, you gave me my heart  
Now the superiors ask I should petrify it and forget  
I constantly try not to,  
even if I have to bleed, to crawl, to lose my breathing.

Each day, I implore God to let me keep you safe  
to stay beside you, relishing your companionship  
like a partner who becomes whole,  
by acknowledging and loving the other, fitting half;  
That's what you are to me.

The hours are ominous  
The darkness stripped of promises and assertions  
I now seek the answers I still don't have  
I fight enemies I realise I hadn't measured so well  
When I am afraid, I remember what you taught me  
To have a clear perception, steady thinking and a calm heart  
All necessary to make good decisions,  
choices that I won't regret.

I do my best  
though it hurts to be aware  
it might not be enough, that it won't suffice  
Anna, what I hold precious doesn't change  
even if they kill me...  
I shall keep you under my wing  
for as long as I can  
never asking anything in return.

You said that you loved me  
That statement is true  
Your love is not alone,  
for I feel the same, wish for the same  
Our lives are bound,  
in any shape that we take  
in any bright world in which we awake.

Watch, my love  
how the sun is caressing heavenly and earthly colours  
The full moon smiling in the darkest night  
or the vast ocean becoming quiet after a vicious storm  
And during our worst moments, let us hope, both you and me, together  
that our dreams, our peace, the love we always had  
won't be lost eternally.

XxX

15/9/2010

Thank you for reading! Comments are appreciated.


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